I don't think anything in particular has triggered the feelings I've been having today. I was thinking about my move to the East and how the relationships in my life right now are a bit frustrating. I guess directly and indirectly because of it, I'm ready to go...like now.
A part of me is thinking, "you're ready because you don't want to deal with what's frustrating you." In all honesty, there is probably truth in that. The other part of me is acknowledging that I've wanted this for SO long now; over a year and a half. Now that I have less than a month here, my level of impatience is hitting an all-time high. The last month or so that I've known I'm leaving has been tremendously unnerving: I'm quitting my job, I'm moving out of California, I'm away from my family and friends, etc. etc. etc. I'm over all that. Really. This has totally become my own Kubler-Ross model. Not sure if grief is the right word, though.
My tunnel vision is narrowing in on itself. I think it's mixed with equal parts anticipation as well as coping mechanism. My mind is on a bullet train heading east all while still unwilling to leave the gate.
No comments:
Post a Comment