Thursday, June 05, 2008


I had a little surge of emotion, so I felt it appropriate to write about it. Though it was already apparently to me, I find myself a bitter person. No one is perfect, so I accept this as one of my imperfections.

I'm not exactly sure how to go about my situation. I thought moving would help...and it has definitely. At the same time, I'm left alone with my thoughts, which can be a difficult place to be left. How is it you can accept things the way they are but not be happy with them?

I'm not exactly sure what I wanted to accomplish in my stint of independence. A part of me thinks I somehow would have forgotten all of the emotional baggage I had before. I don't know why I didn't think that was unrealistic until now, but I guess the important things is that I'm not subconsciously duping myself now.

I had a feeling I was ready for some sort of transformation. Not sure what transformation I want, though. I somehow feel it is the right time in my life for one. It's such a transitionary phase for me right now, I'm expecting something out of it. In my defense, I've been here all of two weeks, so I can't expect anything to happen overnight. I need to be patient. That's what I need work on.

When I got to college, I completely came out of my shell and became who I really believe I am. As a result, I think I've convinced myself my life was going to take another 180 at this point. In a way, I really want it to. I had such a positive experience doing it, I think, "why not?"

I'm not sure what it's going to take to get me to the next level.