I'm heading into the eye of the storm of this transitional phase of my life. It's scary, for sure. I think what is scary is I genuinely want to feel happy, yet I don't know if I can.

Recently, I think I've been in a funk of being single, which is totally dumb because I know I'm not one of those people who think having someone in your life completes you. That's total bull. I don't know why, but I've been so dissatisfied with the way my life has panned out the past year. I was stuck in a job I never liked that really didn't mean anything to me. I stayed in a place I was ready to leave and venture off into another integral part of my life.

I want to say the reasoning behind the funk is the fact it's been 2 years since my last relationship, almost exactly, give or take a couple weeks. I like to think that's the reason I've been evaluating that part of my life recently, but who knows? It could just be an excuse. I think deep down it bothers me I haven't been able to make a connection with someone since that time.

My problem is that I'm impatient. I acknowledge that. The problem within that is just dealing with it.

Completely unrelated, I feel lately I have had a hard time having trust in people. Not in the relationship sense, but just with follow through. Especially guys. They are SO frustrating. I absolutely hate it when someone says something and does the other. Huge pet peeve in my book. I hate having to evaluate the friendships I have because I've always treated all of my friends like they were my best.

I feel like I died this weekend. Like I didn't exist. I suppose it was a good time for self-reflection and what not (and by what not, I mean watching Weeds: Seasons 1 and 2 consecutively. Really good, by the way). I'm beginning to get nervous about living by myself, because I love my alone time, yet when I've had enough of it and need to get out of the house to do something, who am I going to go out with?

A bunch of emotions I'm going to have to deal with in the next month. yay (?)