Tick tock, tick tock

This week has made me more thankful for the positives in my life. They are helping me stay focused and confident, which is exactly what I need. I did something for myself this weekend and I'm elated. It's rare I act on emotion (whether good or bad), but I just went with it. Still logical in my thought process, naturally, but I did something for myself and I'm really excited.

My concern is this: in the long-run, will this have been a healthy thing for me? My concern in that is if I'm subconsciously creating a negative out of a positive. A self-sabotage, if you will. I'm worried the short term will be good, but the long-term might not. Just something in the back of my mind.

I'm still as anxious as ever. I want for it so badly to be a few months down the road where I'm engulfed in a new surrounding and new people. My experiences for the last year have been positive, just not where I expected them to be. I know now I had too much riding on my job and experience here. I convinced myself it would be a radical change when deep down, I had to know it wouldn't be.

I guess I just have to keep dealing with my impatience until I pack up my apartment and head to wherever it is I'm going. I guess now I'm just more antsy than ever since I've been waiting almost two years for it and now that I only have a few months left, I'm chomping at the bit.

I think my goal should be to stay focused in the present because I know change will be there in the future. We'll see how good it goes!